“ So many people are better at changing the world than I am. But my contribution can be in helping them maintain their sanity on their journey.” Love this.
Me too. Thank you for putting that into words. I like to think of my art as creating a little sanctuary from the world rather than making a painting. I am so glad you recovered your wits and discovered your gift and purpose. Your writing is a bright spot in my day.
I'm so with you on the heavy material just annihilating me instead of inspiring me to do more for the world. We sensitive types and those providing the lighthearted, uplifting material do have our place, though, as you say! Who'd want to live in a world without such material, after all?
Really wonderful piece, and boy do I know what you mean when it comes to Frankl's, search for meaning, such a heavy book, but well worth the completed read, I might add. Though, I'm one who rather enjoys a dark search for meaning.
Thx a lot. Honestly, I don't know if I can pick that book up again, I can take any kind of stupid violence from fiction, but the stuff in that book... I still think about it. Maybe I was like one page away from him shifting to more positive stuff or commenting about it, but it felt like it never ended
I totally get it. And no, that book is pretty damn heavy from cover to cover, so you probably put I down at just the right time (your time.) I’ve had a few books do the same thing to me over the years, one in particular, Rob Dreher’s “Live Not By Lies,” which was largely about the torture that occurred to detained Christians while living the under Soviet Bloc. I’ve never read anything like those last few chapters, such barbarity that it’s hard to comprehend, such that has permanently scarred my mind, for sure. But, for some reason, I’m the type that can use this madness for, hopefully, the good. However, my wife is much like you, highly visual, highly sensitive, as the second she consumes darkness, it’s completely over. Thus, she rarely engages with the news, whereas I’m the complete opposite. But, because of this, we balance each other out. She brings me back from the brink, as I gently inform her of the dangers we face as a people. It’s a pretty good dynamic, such that, it seems, you might have in your life as well. Anyhow, keep up the great writing, as it’s been a joy to read your work.
I recall going to places of horror in my head when I first became a mom. I still do, but there's room to talk myself down. It really scared me at first, though. Reflecting back on it, my thoughts are that as a mom or as a parent, it's important to think of the worst case scenarios or the darkest situations so that in turn you can protect your children. My kid could easily slide through the bars of this 5th story balcony. A bone chilling dream about a child at the bottom of a pool paralyzed me for weeks, even years after. Sorry folks. I still do this to some extent in my head. But it has also been reaffirmed in news programs about what goes through the head of a young parent. It's not uncommon. Sadly, there are extremes and we hear horror stories and so we're all sure to stand and make 100% damn sure that the water drain from the tub. We're always scanning for danger. It's a must. It's terrifying to go there sometimes. The dangers evolve but so do we. And it's healthy to have gallow's humor. It helps us understand the absurdity and in turn our kids try to do the same.
It's a slippery slope indeed. It's strange how becoming a parent changes one's way of seeing the world completely. It's as if you have a stake in it, whether you like it or not. Thanks for reading 🙌
Wow! I loved following your journey in this essay. You created a little bubble of peace for me, here, and will do the same for many others, I’ve no doubt. Seems like you’ve found your way. :)
Nice title and metaphor for having children. I can relate. Ever seen the video footage of Christopher Hitchen's voluntarily being waterboarded for a Vanity Fair piece? He lasted about 15 seconds.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has on occasion these flashes of horror in everyday experiences or in situations that are in them selves innocent. I would wonder what was up with me sometimes. On occasion it would be really intrusive. I find it helps that I have been putting these ideas into my writing, they have somewhere to go now.
This is profound, Remy! You are describing, I suspect, the very process by which PTSD survivors become 'triggered' and frozen, unable to function in the world they are in. Extreme empathy, broken open by trauma (and sometimes by our exquisite ability to visually or tactilely experience what others live through, as you describe)
allows us to literally walk in another's shoes. With practice and training we can direct it towards healing others, as in some therapies or more mystically, the shamanic wounded healer.
I thank you for this powerful and revealing story. It cuts across politics, culture and bias. It is indeed what peace is made of.
Remy, thank you for these honest and touching insights in your inner feelings and fears! you def helped me with this!
🖋 I like your writing style. 💪
me too, I empathize too much and visualize awful horror scenarios plus I realize that I consume too much of the news! will need a while to process how to step back and focus on what matters most: To find and build deeply felt life altering solutions to make this world a better place! 🌎 #keepupthegoodwork greetings from Northern Germany, Chris
I can't afford not to watch the news; but I do try to read, reading instead of watching. Reading is hard enough. Because I can see what I read
When I look at the list of names I'm trying to feel nothing, I'm just looking whether a name is for sure of somebody I know, or else I' d break down .
When they bomb Ukraine I'm writing only when they bomb Kiev, to my friends in Kiev, I can't absorb anymore, I am just making sure they're alive and well(as well as they can be)
When it was shooting in Uvalde I recall that I tried not to anything; then I still encountered a list; it was the list of names and photos; only a list. I broke down.
When a teen was murdered(pre-meditated murder) in our community, several years back, I couldn't function for a month; I could hardly walk.
It's awful to think that I could decide to stop somehow this torture and get back to living(somebody decided for me, to be precise); and these parents, I don't know whether they could; whether they'd ever be able to; they seemed so strong on cameras; but what are cameras?..
yes, I have this thing..I had no idea it had a name. Visualising very vividly.
And yes, sometimes it might take a form of hallucination, even. Why they are scary?Why won't I have a happy one, for a change?
..It seems that this morning, we're running in parallel. Probably because I was answering a question about something a bit similar, quarter an hour ago.
Thank you for this essay, Remy, and sorry if my comment is gloomy; it could be gloomier though, so.
PS I thought recently about what art is; and why do they say "he's an artist" whenever anybody's doing something exceedingly well, whatever he's doing. I need to continue to think.
I am an Israeli. who tries to live in both hemispheres, for the past few years. I live a strange life, even without the war
but even if I wouldn't-plenty of my family'there, starting with my elderly Mom sick, living alone, even though she does have coming help; friends, home. Me.
So. I have to. read.
and I'm from Ukraine, originally. so. family (they managed to get out though. when it was the beginning. north of Kiev), friends-the ones who stayed, and the ones who left, but their kids stayed, and...once it was home too. Me..
“ So many people are better at changing the world than I am. But my contribution can be in helping them maintain their sanity on their journey.” Love this.
Thoughtful and thought-eliciting Remy.
“Pretty counterintuitive, I suppose, but I believe that I’m far from the only one in this position.”
I too keep the world’s chaos at arms distance... so that it does not seep into my work... which I see as shining light.
🙌
Love that you make room for there to be “all kinds of kinds”.
You note that we are all differently equipped and are best served (and serve best?) when we operate from our unique genius.
Me too. Thank you for putting that into words. I like to think of my art as creating a little sanctuary from the world rather than making a painting. I am so glad you recovered your wits and discovered your gift and purpose. Your writing is a bright spot in my day.
🙌💙
I'm so with you on the heavy material just annihilating me instead of inspiring me to do more for the world. We sensitive types and those providing the lighthearted, uplifting material do have our place, though, as you say! Who'd want to live in a world without such material, after all?
🙌
Really wonderful piece, and boy do I know what you mean when it comes to Frankl's, search for meaning, such a heavy book, but well worth the completed read, I might add. Though, I'm one who rather enjoys a dark search for meaning.
Thx a lot. Honestly, I don't know if I can pick that book up again, I can take any kind of stupid violence from fiction, but the stuff in that book... I still think about it. Maybe I was like one page away from him shifting to more positive stuff or commenting about it, but it felt like it never ended
I totally get it. And no, that book is pretty damn heavy from cover to cover, so you probably put I down at just the right time (your time.) I’ve had a few books do the same thing to me over the years, one in particular, Rob Dreher’s “Live Not By Lies,” which was largely about the torture that occurred to detained Christians while living the under Soviet Bloc. I’ve never read anything like those last few chapters, such barbarity that it’s hard to comprehend, such that has permanently scarred my mind, for sure. But, for some reason, I’m the type that can use this madness for, hopefully, the good. However, my wife is much like you, highly visual, highly sensitive, as the second she consumes darkness, it’s completely over. Thus, she rarely engages with the news, whereas I’m the complete opposite. But, because of this, we balance each other out. She brings me back from the brink, as I gently inform her of the dangers we face as a people. It’s a pretty good dynamic, such that, it seems, you might have in your life as well. Anyhow, keep up the great writing, as it’s been a joy to read your work.
thx :)
I don't often read pieces that remind me of my own inner life, but this is one of them. Thank you.
🙌
I recall going to places of horror in my head when I first became a mom. I still do, but there's room to talk myself down. It really scared me at first, though. Reflecting back on it, my thoughts are that as a mom or as a parent, it's important to think of the worst case scenarios or the darkest situations so that in turn you can protect your children. My kid could easily slide through the bars of this 5th story balcony. A bone chilling dream about a child at the bottom of a pool paralyzed me for weeks, even years after. Sorry folks. I still do this to some extent in my head. But it has also been reaffirmed in news programs about what goes through the head of a young parent. It's not uncommon. Sadly, there are extremes and we hear horror stories and so we're all sure to stand and make 100% damn sure that the water drain from the tub. We're always scanning for danger. It's a must. It's terrifying to go there sometimes. The dangers evolve but so do we. And it's healthy to have gallow's humor. It helps us understand the absurdity and in turn our kids try to do the same.
It's a slippery slope indeed. It's strange how becoming a parent changes one's way of seeing the world completely. It's as if you have a stake in it, whether you like it or not. Thanks for reading 🙌
Wow! I loved following your journey in this essay. You created a little bubble of peace for me, here, and will do the same for many others, I’ve no doubt. Seems like you’ve found your way. :)
Thanks a lot Rebecca
Write on, Rem
Nice title and metaphor for having children. I can relate. Ever seen the video footage of Christopher Hitchen's voluntarily being waterboarded for a Vanity Fair piece? He lasted about 15 seconds.
Just watched it... The creepiest thing about that video is how skilled at it the guys doing it seem to be....
Oh yes. "Enhanced interrogation" pros
I’m glad I’m not the only one who has on occasion these flashes of horror in everyday experiences or in situations that are in them selves innocent. I would wonder what was up with me sometimes. On occasion it would be really intrusive. I find it helps that I have been putting these ideas into my writing, they have somewhere to go now.
🤝
Hey now, let's not throw self-love overboard. 🤣👍🤪
This is profound, Remy! You are describing, I suspect, the very process by which PTSD survivors become 'triggered' and frozen, unable to function in the world they are in. Extreme empathy, broken open by trauma (and sometimes by our exquisite ability to visually or tactilely experience what others live through, as you describe)
allows us to literally walk in another's shoes. With practice and training we can direct it towards healing others, as in some therapies or more mystically, the shamanic wounded healer.
I thank you for this powerful and revealing story. It cuts across politics, culture and bias. It is indeed what peace is made of.
I couldn't agree more
Remy, thank you for these honest and touching insights in your inner feelings and fears! you def helped me with this!
🖋 I like your writing style. 💪
me too, I empathize too much and visualize awful horror scenarios plus I realize that I consume too much of the news! will need a while to process how to step back and focus on what matters most: To find and build deeply felt life altering solutions to make this world a better place! 🌎 #keepupthegoodwork greetings from Northern Germany, Chris
Thanks for you message Christoph :)
I love your realization!! Your talents and intuitions are unique and meaningful. Comparison is a deadly quicksand, so don’t step in it! 💪✨
Thanks :)
I can't afford not to watch the news; but I do try to read, reading instead of watching. Reading is hard enough. Because I can see what I read
When I look at the list of names I'm trying to feel nothing, I'm just looking whether a name is for sure of somebody I know, or else I' d break down .
When they bomb Ukraine I'm writing only when they bomb Kiev, to my friends in Kiev, I can't absorb anymore, I am just making sure they're alive and well(as well as they can be)
When it was shooting in Uvalde I recall that I tried not to anything; then I still encountered a list; it was the list of names and photos; only a list. I broke down.
When a teen was murdered(pre-meditated murder) in our community, several years back, I couldn't function for a month; I could hardly walk.
It's awful to think that I could decide to stop somehow this torture and get back to living(somebody decided for me, to be precise); and these parents, I don't know whether they could; whether they'd ever be able to; they seemed so strong on cameras; but what are cameras?..
yes, I have this thing..I had no idea it had a name. Visualising very vividly.
And yes, sometimes it might take a form of hallucination, even. Why they are scary?Why won't I have a happy one, for a change?
..It seems that this morning, we're running in parallel. Probably because I was answering a question about something a bit similar, quarter an hour ago.
Thank you for this essay, Remy, and sorry if my comment is gloomy; it could be gloomier though, so.
PS I thought recently about what art is; and why do they say "he's an artist" whenever anybody's doing something exceedingly well, whatever he's doing. I need to continue to think.
PPS do you have synesthesia as well?
thx for your comment, no, I don't have synesthesia :)
ok:) thanks :)
Why can't you not watch the news btw? Just curious
I am an Israeli. who tries to live in both hemispheres, for the past few years. I live a strange life, even without the war
but even if I wouldn't-plenty of my family'there, starting with my elderly Mom sick, living alone, even though she does have coming help; friends, home. Me.
So. I have to. read.
and I'm from Ukraine, originally. so. family (they managed to get out though. when it was the beginning. north of Kiev), friends-the ones who stayed, and the ones who left, but their kids stayed, and...once it was home too. Me..
I do try NOT to watch.
Ah dear, I see