Thank you for sharing this delightful experience! 🤗
I’ve babysat a little girl since she was two, and she turns five today! In the past, I noticed many of her favorite gifts were the smaller ones. She loves to put little things in bags, and you can't keep her from chalk.
For her birthday today, as one of her gifts, I'm giving her a small purse total of fake makeup! It won't be as big as her larger spectacular presents, but I know she will love it. 💝
Reminds of the time my young family went to our friends’ son’s birthday party. He was four. Whenever the boy came over to our house, he loved playing “tornado”. We had two plastic soda bottles connected together with one of the bottles about half filled with water. He would put the empty bottle on the bottom and watch the water drain from the other, making a “tornado” in the process. When his parents invited us to his birthday party, they insisted we not bring a gift because everyone in his extended family would be spoiling him and he wouldn’t need anything else. We were poor, but we had to bring something, so we got him the little plastic piece that connects two bottles. Smallest, cheapest gift ever. As advertised the boy had about 25 relatives at his party. When it came time to open gifts, I felt sheepish. He opened one great present after another. Then he got to ours and the party stopped. He insisted that two bottles be found so he could play tornado. He played over and over until his mother made him go back to opening the rest of the gifts, which he did as quickly as possible, so he could get back to the tornado.
I love this! When faced with the prospect of handing over a miniature velvet bag in the midst of large wooden playhouses, one must confidently announce, "I thought your child would prefer something small and exquisite." It indicates that you think the child has good taste, even at that tender age, and therefore must have been raised with elegant restraint:)
Ha :) That's cool, the only trouble is that the child does NOT like the small stuff at that age, and is clearly disappointed with the small bag lol. So it turns it into a double whammy, as you're essentially saying 'I though your child had taste.' It's kind of hilarious actually lol
I love that this quickly transmogrifies into a kind of HPL tale/creepypasta at the end, with our doomed and terror-stricken narrator leaving us with a solemn warning as his final, frantic farewell. I pray he somehow made it to that small Ecuadorian village, where the alpacas flow like wine, but I fear that the elder gods--and worse yet, wives--are far too cruel to allow him such salvation.
We shamelessly pushed ahead our own toddler to deliver the gift and kids being kids there was not much reaction. As for adults, I was too busy grinning like a fool for the camera to notice. I suppose the pics will come though...
Oh Remy! You made a rookie mistake. The rule of thumb is shaming the parents of the birthday girl. Don’t bring any presents and have your child draw a picture as the card. And then say- hi! We are trying to compensate for the rest of this carbon footprint you got going on here. It works wonders!
I hope that your wife has forgiven you and you are not writing from South America, or herding alpacas - interesting that is where your imagination leads you! 🤣
I am glad that my daughter is beyond the birthday party / present merry-go-round. To be serious, I think it is a mistake to overwhelm small children with presents, and thereby (however unwittingly) teach the child that expensive stuff matters. Of course I think children should have the joy of presents, but there must be a better way than a one-upmanship display in front of a professional camera person.
At such parties I would always hit them with my ‘homemade essential oil lavender playdoh’ Cheap as chips and what a fucking curve ball that chucked them.
And I’d chuckle thinking of the little darlings kneading it into the carpet later. 😂😂
Lmao - literally!! I love this! I have also been there!
I also will admit I have been on both sides of this situation.
Especially when my child remembered there was a PARTY!! He HAD TO have a gift! The panic when faced with a card with real money, or a convenience store crappy piece of plastic which was explained on the label, in 12 languages, but none were mine!
"As I write these words, words which could very well be my very last post on Substack, I’m actively avoiding my wife’s gaze, worried that its very sight might turn me into stone." I felt this deep in my bones, Remy. The only time I have experienced its equal was when I fostered a very large, very wild, very in heat, and very undisciplined Husky mix at the beginnings of Covid and the animal shelters were shutting down. My husband's face said everything I needed to know, but still I went ahead. I could not stop myself.
It was a long 24 hours and we did return the dog after I was bitten trying to save it from choking on a full (in the bag) loaf of bread.
I am still married, but I think I still might be in time out.
Thanks Charlotte :)
As a Frenchman in the UK I've never celebrated Thanksgiving. But I gather that it involves a lot of Turkey and thanking. Have a nice one.
Thank you for sharing this delightful experience! 🤗
I’ve babysat a little girl since she was two, and she turns five today! In the past, I noticed many of her favorite gifts were the smaller ones. She loves to put little things in bags, and you can't keep her from chalk.
For her birthday today, as one of her gifts, I'm giving her a small purse total of fake makeup! It won't be as big as her larger spectacular presents, but I know she will love it. 💝
Happy Thanksgiving 🦃 ✨💫🙏
Reminds of the time my young family went to our friends’ son’s birthday party. He was four. Whenever the boy came over to our house, he loved playing “tornado”. We had two plastic soda bottles connected together with one of the bottles about half filled with water. He would put the empty bottle on the bottom and watch the water drain from the other, making a “tornado” in the process. When his parents invited us to his birthday party, they insisted we not bring a gift because everyone in his extended family would be spoiling him and he wouldn’t need anything else. We were poor, but we had to bring something, so we got him the little plastic piece that connects two bottles. Smallest, cheapest gift ever. As advertised the boy had about 25 relatives at his party. When it came time to open gifts, I felt sheepish. He opened one great present after another. Then he got to ours and the party stopped. He insisted that two bottles be found so he could play tornado. He played over and over until his mother made him go back to opening the rest of the gifts, which he did as quickly as possible, so he could get back to the tornado.
That's pretty awesome :)
Didn't happen quite that way with our bag of chalks though lol
No. LOL. But you got a great story out of yours.
I love this! When faced with the prospect of handing over a miniature velvet bag in the midst of large wooden playhouses, one must confidently announce, "I thought your child would prefer something small and exquisite." It indicates that you think the child has good taste, even at that tender age, and therefore must have been raised with elegant restraint:)
Ha :) That's cool, the only trouble is that the child does NOT like the small stuff at that age, and is clearly disappointed with the small bag lol. So it turns it into a double whammy, as you're essentially saying 'I though your child had taste.' It's kind of hilarious actually lol
Funny. A sad gift wrapped in an insult:)
Great comeback.
I love that this quickly transmogrifies into a kind of HPL tale/creepypasta at the end, with our doomed and terror-stricken narrator leaving us with a solemn warning as his final, frantic farewell. I pray he somehow made it to that small Ecuadorian village, where the alpacas flow like wine, but I fear that the elder gods--and worse yet, wives--are far too cruel to allow him such salvation.
Dear Lyre. I sacrificed a goat to Soteria and I believe it protected me.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ebb16c76-31af-4da7-b457-3c15a76b6cbd
lol
hahahaahh wait so how was the gift received and where are the photos??
We shamelessly pushed ahead our own toddler to deliver the gift and kids being kids there was not much reaction. As for adults, I was too busy grinning like a fool for the camera to notice. I suppose the pics will come though...
sacrificed your own young. bold
The gaslighting part is clever. Did it work?
No lol
Oh Remy! You made a rookie mistake. The rule of thumb is shaming the parents of the birthday girl. Don’t bring any presents and have your child draw a picture as the card. And then say- hi! We are trying to compensate for the rest of this carbon footprint you got going on here. It works wonders!
ahah, perfect
Hilarious family story. I will keep that gift size in mind if I ever have a family of my own. >< X
ty :)
I hope that your wife has forgiven you and you are not writing from South America, or herding alpacas - interesting that is where your imagination leads you! 🤣
I am glad that my daughter is beyond the birthday party / present merry-go-round. To be serious, I think it is a mistake to overwhelm small children with presents, and thereby (however unwittingly) teach the child that expensive stuff matters. Of course I think children should have the joy of presents, but there must be a better way than a one-upmanship display in front of a professional camera person.
I made it Kate, I'm still there. I managed to make her feels that it was entirely her fault etc. So all good.
🤔
Ah! Ah! 😊 Love it!
🙌
Super silly, love it :)
Thx :)
At such parties I would always hit them with my ‘homemade essential oil lavender playdoh’ Cheap as chips and what a fucking curve ball that chucked them.
And I’d chuckle thinking of the little darlings kneading it into the carpet later. 😂😂
lol, I was thinking about this recently, like what present to bring kids of ppl you DON'T like. Like a flute, or a drum kit. Or maybe a cute baby pig?
Definitely go with the drum kit, unless by chance you can lay your hands on a set of bagpipes!
lol
😂At Christmas, stashing lots of loose sequins and glitter inside a card is my go-to.
“Surrrpriseeeee!”😂
I know the feeling of your wife about to eat you up and spit you out. Glad you lived to tell the story lol
https://media.giphy.com/media/3ohzdYjwEQuR1J7dte/giphy.gif
😂😂😂😂
Lmao - literally!! I love this! I have also been there!
I also will admit I have been on both sides of this situation.
Especially when my child remembered there was a PARTY!! He HAD TO have a gift! The panic when faced with a card with real money, or a convenience store crappy piece of plastic which was explained on the label, in 12 languages, but none were mine!
Thank you!! ☺️
Glad you enjoyed my humiliation Pamela ;)
😂 only because I have been there and know my Sons are now going through it themselves! 😊😎✌🏻
Godspeed, Remy. I will remember you fondly. ;)
Thank you Julie, this gives me a lot of strength.
"As I write these words, words which could very well be my very last post on Substack, I’m actively avoiding my wife’s gaze, worried that its very sight might turn me into stone." I felt this deep in my bones, Remy. The only time I have experienced its equal was when I fostered a very large, very wild, very in heat, and very undisciplined Husky mix at the beginnings of Covid and the animal shelters were shutting down. My husband's face said everything I needed to know, but still I went ahead. I could not stop myself.
It was a long 24 hours and we did return the dog after I was bitten trying to save it from choking on a full (in the bag) loaf of bread.
I am still married, but I think I still might be in time out.
Lol, that’s amazing