Of course no distribution and if it had screened I don't know about it. I don't even have my own copy of it!
It buried itself on its own thankfully. Had it been a bit less awful it would have actually been much harder for me as it might have had a future... Weird position to be in.
I can't even fathom what you endured... so many "gates", the legendary actor fiasco, so many moments you would have been hauled away anywhere else... the tomatoes??? It's like something out of Peter Sellers's life...
I would SO rent a theater in Paris and host an anniversary screening and present funny awards all the way through. That would be the ultimate meta experience. A Masterclass in how not to make a film... as a live event (with songs :))
It depends I think. But in general in my specific case I have the luck or the misfortune (depending on the way you look at it) to have myself seep in in what I write even if I try not to. But I've written dramas and darker stuff for instance. Or I would say even my post about my dad is much darker
The way you feel might be misleading. I feel all kind of wrong things about what I write all the time, I think I have clarity but I don't. That's why it's better to let other people be the judge and either enjoy or not imho.
I'm not sure what you are trying to write, or struggling to write, but over analysing can be just as bad as not thinking at all :)
I know very well when it doesn't sound like me. It just pains me that whatever doesn't sound like me-is actually proper, much more correct, more beautiful language:)
I was a stunt woman in my earlier days and I Discuss that part of my life and five different long sub stacks. My ex husband was stunt coordinator on a film, and I forget which one but because of politics he was forced to hire a very inexperienced stunt man. And this guy almost killed himself.
At least this part of your film career is now behind you and you learn from it and you’ll be making much better films. Blessings to you. Thank you for sharing your experience and getting some of that hurt and bewilderment off your chest. 🤗✨🙏💖
Dead mouse, animal innards, a hanged man, tomato-spattering Joan of Arc??? What was this movie ABOUT? Nothing, it seems, except showcasing its venomous star/producer. Good thing it failed, but I'm so sorry you had to endure all this. I hope writing about it does help you release whatever shame you seem to feel about it — awful as it was, the experience is part of what made you who you are today, and that is a wiser and more discerning person. Right?
The film was like a patchwork of first draft ideas. As if a new writer had just slapped together everything they liked from other movies without a care for originality or tonal consistency. Writing about all this helped in some way, but also brings me back a bit. But being able to discuss it with folks like we are doing right now feels good tbh.
I share the dream of commercial feature film production, but one thing that got me out of it as my primary source of income were productions like these, including back to back zero-budget productions in 2015 that seriously damaged my health and gave me zero savings to recover from. From my experience, movies need a budget of at least $1million before they become comfortable enough to work on, and even then it's really hard on the body and soul. And that's also assuming competency of producers and crew etc.
Which tears me up because I also am charmed by the Eraserheads, El Mariachis, and Primers of the world. But when you start to work in film professionally you learn that there are hundreds of similarly produced movies that are total shitshows, and for that matter even the ones that succeed rarely send the crew off to similar heights as the writer/director/enfant terrible. I work with an editor who edited one of the big 90s Sundance breakout darling hits that has subsequently created the careers of one of my favorite filmmakers. The editor got nothing.
Lastly, almost all of the scrappy zero budget "I have a dream!" stuff I got involved with were, in fact, vanity projects. In some sense that's sort of the thing about art: you HAVE to have vanity to push yourself to do this shit! But on the other hand, that means a ton, ton, ton, ton of low budget indie movies are actually, like, sons and daughters of millionaires being gifted $250k from daddy to pursue the Hollywood dream for a year and figure making their own movie is better than auditioning and risking feedback, not to mention rejection. (A fun side story about this: the SISTER of a woman who made a vanity feature I worked on was only helping out as a producer because she felt like it, ended up falling in love with film and is an award-winning director now. I think the original actress is doing fine acting, but the sister actually turned out to be the artist!)
Anyway I have this deepset, abiding love for independent film that I refuse to let the bad side destroy, but my negative experiences has slowed me down, a lot, in pursuing my own dream because I refuse to either exploit or be exploited the way these movies frequently go. And like you I don't have friends or family with vanity cash burning their pockets to finance some indie feature for the marquis selfie, so I have to figure out how to make movies with no money without being a zero budget production.
Yeah I mean my way of handling this has been to make sure to have enough means to survive with writing, so that I can chase the feature dream without having to take on the kind of project you are mentioning (and that I directed that year). For sure it's a world of pockets full of cash and contact, that's for sure.
In europe it's mostly public funded and ultra low budget. These are the sort of entry level feature you can hope to make. I would think it's unlikely that a pot of $1m will fall onto a newcomer. But these days with TV there are more entries to the game... If you know the right people...
Hard to get out alive. Each new film sucks a little bit of your soul. I’m sure other industries experience that - but this world is its own special crazy
I’m not but I’ve long been interested in the grueling process of getting films made. Seems to have a lot of similarities to a military campaign, but with vanity as the primary motivating force instead of valor.
It’s fascinating but it also seems like an impossible task that art and vision can be created like that.
Well, thankfully it's not always like that. There are still egos, but the majority of time, people are smart enough to understand they need each other and work together. Probably like in a military campaign. This was an exceptionally dysfunctional film
“Once again, people pulling miracles for a bunch of complete assholes”
You just perfectly summed up the filmmaking business in a single sentence.
Haha, I wish what you said was untrue... There are a lot of assholes that's for sure!
Word!
I don't work in the film business but, I know about assholes. I guess they are in every industry.
Are you working in the film business?
Word!
Maybe you can produce and shoot my horror story short film. -Please Don't Feed The Squirrels-
haha
Outstanding story! I enjoyed reading this.
Thanks mate!
Wow! ~~That's all I can say. Merci beaucoup. ~~ X
Thank you for reading!
Man, this whole thing really does sound like a nightmare. Did it ever get picked up for distribution anywhere? Or screened? Or is it buried now?
Of course no distribution and if it had screened I don't know about it. I don't even have my own copy of it!
It buried itself on its own thankfully. Had it been a bit less awful it would have actually been much harder for me as it might have had a future... Weird position to be in.
I can't even fathom what you endured... so many "gates", the legendary actor fiasco, so many moments you would have been hauled away anywhere else... the tomatoes??? It's like something out of Peter Sellers's life...
honestly I'm amazed that the film cuts and looks nice from a cinematography pov. The acting and story though...
I would SO rent a theater in Paris and host an anniversary screening and present funny awards all the way through. That would be the ultimate meta experience. A Masterclass in how not to make a film... as a live event (with songs :))
yes, and I can screen my v5 cut ungraded and without sound lol
I loved reading it, loved-and if you ask me-stay as you are. Egotistical of me, I know
There's more and more fragility, true. Frightening.
Try to write differently to see how it feels, say, one post? As an experiment.
Mine always fail...
I can play though-I mean being myself but prefering one part over others.
To play though one needs to be in a mood for it. Put himself in a mood, I don;t know. I'm not great at it.
Thanks Chen!
Although I didn't get the bit about writing a different post?
x
No wonder I'm jetlagged)) And AC doesn't work-it's real cold in SoCal)) No, for real, I function badly when I'm cold. I mean worse than even usual.
I mean-will it feel authentic, like you being you, if you try to write differently? One can check..
It depends I think. But in general in my specific case I have the luck or the misfortune (depending on the way you look at it) to have myself seep in in what I write even if I try not to. But I've written dramas and darker stuff for instance. Or I would say even my post about my dad is much darker
that's different though-it's still YOU
ok I'll think ..I am obviously not conveying well whatever I mean..
For example when I try to wrestle my Russian into what it once was-it doesn't feel like me anymore...it's sad, and I don't know what to do with it...
The way you feel might be misleading. I feel all kind of wrong things about what I write all the time, I think I have clarity but I don't. That's why it's better to let other people be the judge and either enjoy or not imho.
I'm not sure what you are trying to write, or struggling to write, but over analysing can be just as bad as not thinking at all :)
again, I fail to explain..
I know very well when it doesn't sound like me. It just pains me that whatever doesn't sound like me-is actually proper, much more correct, more beautiful language:)
Agree though with many points of yours
Thank you for bearing with me, Remy
I was a stunt woman in my earlier days and I Discuss that part of my life and five different long sub stacks. My ex husband was stunt coordinator on a film, and I forget which one but because of politics he was forced to hire a very inexperienced stunt man. And this guy almost killed himself.
At least this part of your film career is now behind you and you learn from it and you’ll be making much better films. Blessings to you. Thank you for sharing your experience and getting some of that hurt and bewilderment off your chest. 🤗✨🙏💖
💙 Thanks Charlotte
Dead mouse, animal innards, a hanged man, tomato-spattering Joan of Arc??? What was this movie ABOUT? Nothing, it seems, except showcasing its venomous star/producer. Good thing it failed, but I'm so sorry you had to endure all this. I hope writing about it does help you release whatever shame you seem to feel about it — awful as it was, the experience is part of what made you who you are today, and that is a wiser and more discerning person. Right?
The film was like a patchwork of first draft ideas. As if a new writer had just slapped together everything they liked from other movies without a care for originality or tonal consistency. Writing about all this helped in some way, but also brings me back a bit. But being able to discuss it with folks like we are doing right now feels good tbh.
Thanks for taking the time Jan. 💙
I share the dream of commercial feature film production, but one thing that got me out of it as my primary source of income were productions like these, including back to back zero-budget productions in 2015 that seriously damaged my health and gave me zero savings to recover from. From my experience, movies need a budget of at least $1million before they become comfortable enough to work on, and even then it's really hard on the body and soul. And that's also assuming competency of producers and crew etc.
Which tears me up because I also am charmed by the Eraserheads, El Mariachis, and Primers of the world. But when you start to work in film professionally you learn that there are hundreds of similarly produced movies that are total shitshows, and for that matter even the ones that succeed rarely send the crew off to similar heights as the writer/director/enfant terrible. I work with an editor who edited one of the big 90s Sundance breakout darling hits that has subsequently created the careers of one of my favorite filmmakers. The editor got nothing.
Lastly, almost all of the scrappy zero budget "I have a dream!" stuff I got involved with were, in fact, vanity projects. In some sense that's sort of the thing about art: you HAVE to have vanity to push yourself to do this shit! But on the other hand, that means a ton, ton, ton, ton of low budget indie movies are actually, like, sons and daughters of millionaires being gifted $250k from daddy to pursue the Hollywood dream for a year and figure making their own movie is better than auditioning and risking feedback, not to mention rejection. (A fun side story about this: the SISTER of a woman who made a vanity feature I worked on was only helping out as a producer because she felt like it, ended up falling in love with film and is an award-winning director now. I think the original actress is doing fine acting, but the sister actually turned out to be the artist!)
Anyway I have this deepset, abiding love for independent film that I refuse to let the bad side destroy, but my negative experiences has slowed me down, a lot, in pursuing my own dream because I refuse to either exploit or be exploited the way these movies frequently go. And like you I don't have friends or family with vanity cash burning their pockets to finance some indie feature for the marquis selfie, so I have to figure out how to make movies with no money without being a zero budget production.
Yeah I mean my way of handling this has been to make sure to have enough means to survive with writing, so that I can chase the feature dream without having to take on the kind of project you are mentioning (and that I directed that year). For sure it's a world of pockets full of cash and contact, that's for sure.
In europe it's mostly public funded and ultra low budget. These are the sort of entry level feature you can hope to make. I would think it's unlikely that a pot of $1m will fall onto a newcomer. But these days with TV there are more entries to the game... If you know the right people...
Hard to get out alive. Each new film sucks a little bit of your soul. I’m sure other industries experience that - but this world is its own special crazy
True
I’m not but I’ve long been interested in the grueling process of getting films made. Seems to have a lot of similarities to a military campaign, but with vanity as the primary motivating force instead of valor.
It’s fascinating but it also seems like an impossible task that art and vision can be created like that.
Well, thankfully it's not always like that. There are still egos, but the majority of time, people are smart enough to understand they need each other and work together. Probably like in a military campaign. This was an exceptionally dysfunctional film