The Proust Questionnaire: Lindsay Byron
"Only Motley Crue could have invented a life of such decadence as I have succeeded in inventing."
Dear reader,
The first time I read some of Lindsay’s writing, I almost needed a little lie down. That's how visceral and vivid her writing is. I’ve never been to Atlanta, or stepped foot in a strip club, yet I can still catch the scents of beer, liquor, and stale cigarettes from her words. A heady mix of youth, decadence, and wild nights...
Now, if these lines have your curiosity piqued, I urge you to dive deeper into her world. You won’t regret it. (Biography here1) You can also find Lindsay’s latest creation right here 👇
Listen to Hookergate at any of the links below…
Now without further ado here is
‘s Proust Questionnaire!Lindsay, what is your idea of perfect happiness?
Not having to hustle money non-stop. Financial security that doesn’t require such break-neck speed of productivity and salesmanship. I’d love to own a paid-off oceanfront condo in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, where I spent half my days writing creatively, the other half dancing; I’d start the day with a sunrise beach stroll and end the day with a sunset beach stroll, dolphin-watching and pelican-counting. You can learn a lot from these two noble creatures. I’d like more time for that.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Gypsy Rose Lee.
Which living person do you most admire?
My uncle Jay Shelton, member of the bluegrass band Shelton and Williams. He worked an un-glamourous job in heating and refrigeration faithfully for forty years while devoting himself to his musicianship in his free time. He’s now retired, and spends his time touring and making albums. Dude is living the dream. Respect.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Vanity. Get over yourself. The older I get, the more mellow I become in my own self-estimation. I take less selfies. I primp and preen less. I don’t know if this change is admirable or sad. I think the major emotional battle of my forties will be coming to terms with losing my status as a pretty young woman. I am now forty-two and am self-conscious about disappearing as a crone when I’ve depended so thoroughly on my status as SEXY LADY since I was twelve years old. Daily, I think: it’s a shame life ends so sad; you once were beautiful, and then you become ugly, and then you die. We place on the table the flower in bloom, not the one in whither. We’re animals. I’m no fool. I know what we value on a primal level, we hairless apes masquerading as gods. I want to stay pretty forever. That is not possible. My vanity which once fueled a swaggering confidence as well as many material gains now fuels my horror and despair.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
LOL, FUCKING VANITY. Vanity! Like most cliches, this too proves true: that which we hate in others reveals that which we hate in ourselves. Is your iPhone wallpaper a photograph of yourself? I’m judging you.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I travel the world in absolute luxury and stay at the finest estates in sought-after locations three to four times a year among a couple dozen women with their tits out, and that’s my JOB. That is literally my job. Only Motley Crue could have invented a life of such decadence as I have succeeded in inventing. The story of how this came about is a long one, but the short of it is: I turned a career stripping into a career providing sexy good times for grown women; to this day I can’t believe I did that. You can learn more about my strange and wonderful career here. You can hear me tell my story here.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Safety. That shit’s for ineffectual cowards. “Safety first?” More like safety last! Safety might keep you alive–but it also keeps you from living. Take the risks. Take the bumps. I’ll die before I live in a padded room.
On what occasion do you lie?
When me telling the truth accomplishes nothing other than hurting someone’s feelings with no benefit to them at all. Why make someone feel bad? Just make ‘em feel good.
Now, making people feel good: that’s a virtue.
Incidentally, my husband calls this practice “empty praise,” and considers it a moral evil.
What is your greatest regret?
UGH I HAVE SO MANY CRUSHING REGRETS. Brah, the bill on some of them dumb-ass choices I made in my past has put my ass in psychic debt for an apparent lifetime. I did not learn how to act right until I was about thirty-eight. I repeated the same self-destructive mistakes throughout my life, namely: involving myself with utter sadistic psychos, doing hardcore drugs, shirking all adult responsibilities to act like a hedonistic bitch. I got scared straight finally in my late thirties by some truly spectacular fuck-ups, one of which involved me eating at least thirty ants. I now enjoy a 10:30 p.m. bedtime, after passing in and out of consciousness on the couch since 9:45.
When and where are you happiest?
I am happiest on the beach where I spent my childhood summers and where I take my own kids–a tiny coastal town in the Southern Outer Banks whose name I like to keep private. This barrier island is about half a mile wide. I love to go to this island, lock my phone away, sit on the deck and read, boogie-board my ass off, and walk miles up and down that beach. I’ve traveled the world and never found any place that holds my heart like this one.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Neck and neck between two things: building my business from the gutter up, and completing and publishing my two most significant works of art: my memoir Too Pretty To Be Good, and my recently-released true crime docudrama podcast, Hookergate.
I wanted to be a writer my entire life; writing a book was a dream I held since I can remember. In fact, I deliberately lived a wild life so that I could write an interesting book about it.
I was a stripper my whole life who foolishly got three English degrees in the heat of the academic collapse; therefore I became a PhD in a world where there were very few dignified jobs for me. I thought the academy was my way out of the club; it was not. Disillusioned with the academy, I not only went back to stripping, but moreover started posting pole dance videos and hot takes online under the moniker of “Lux ATL,” which was my stripper name. Social media was taking off around that time, early 2010s. A few of my posts went viral, enabling me to build a fanbase. I created a sensual movement workshop to serve this fanbase and called it “Stripcraft,” and toured that workshop around the world: a magical experience. That was over ten years ago. That brand has now grown into an online dance academy, as well as a women’s travel business. Stripcraft bought my family a house. Really proud of that.
If you could choose to come back as something, what would it be?
I wish I could live this beautiful life again.
But in absence of that option: it’d be pretty sweet to come back as the beloved family dog of a couple without children. Them motherfuckers really get the red carpet rolled out.
What is your most treasured possession?
My collection of diaries, which I began at age five and continue till today. Dozens of these journals exist, saved in a locked trunk. The whole life of my heart: chronicled in these books. I alternately hope that when I die, someone will publish them to the world, or burn them! BURN THEM!
Where would you like to live?
Forever I love Atlanta, but I’d like to retire in the Outer Banks.
What is your favorite occupation?
My current job is an utter banger, but before that, I was a stripper for nearly sixteen years, starting at the age of eighteen in 1999. The sex industry proved a dark and brutal world in many ways (which I write all about in my memoir, Too Pretty To Be Good), but I must also admit that no feeling in my life has ever compared to the exquisite pleasure of dollars raining down upon you while you dance naked on a stage for an enthusiastic audience. I don’t think Axl Rose ever felt more like a rockstar than I have in those moments. Truly electric. Many a woman’s fantasy. I’m glad I got to experience it. Heck, one time I gave a lap dance to John Stamos. NOT a bad day at work.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Friendliness. I’m the person starting a conversation on the walking path. Sorry-not-sorry! Talk to me, dang it!
What do you most value in your friends?
Pragmatic helpfulness when it counts. Did you like my IG post? Great, cool, whatever, but that really ain’t shit.
Did you babysit my kid for two nights while I was giving birth to his little brother? In that case, u a real G.
I don’t care how great you think I am; I don’t care what esteem you hold for me in your heart.
I care that you took a walk with me every third Sunday of the month for two years. I care that you left a pot pie on my doorstep when my baby was five days old.
Who are your favorite writers?
Edgar Allen Poe–that atmospheric muhfucka just grabs you by the throat at line one and plunges yo ass into a crazy situation. Jeanette Winterson–every line is a poem. William Faulker, the absolute master of marriage of form and content, the master of trusting your reader to be smart and attentive. Toni Morrision: layers of meaning and complexity and craftsmanship. Stephen King, the prolific suspense and foreshadowing master, page-turning SOB. Ann Rule, the absolute queen of true crime. Jeff Kinney, author of the Wimpy Kid series. That dude has his finger on the pulse of childhood and parenthood.
Who are your heroes in real life?
My husband saved my life and has been the best friend and realest supporter I have ever had.
How would you like to die?
IN MY SLEEP WITHOUT ME EVER KNOWING THAT SHIT WAS HAPPENING. Dear Lord, hear my prayer!
What is your motto?
Safety last!
Thanks for being game
!And of course…
Lindsay Byron made a name for herself as Lux ATL. She is a former English professor and lifelong exotic dancer turned founder of Stripcraft, a playground of sensual movement and sexy travel providing good times for bad girls worldwide since 2014.
She is a published scholar in the field of women’s studies under the name of Dr. Lindsay Byron. Her short documentary Conjured and Southern Cultures Magazine’s article Rewriting Elizabeth reconstruct the lives of women institutionalized at an infamous Southern mental hospital in the mid-twentieth century.
She was named Best Stripper in Atlanta in 2015, and competed in the elite invitational Miss Pole Dance America competition in 2016.
In 2021 she released her memoir titled Too Pretty To Be Good, and is the host of the podcast HOOKERGATE: Criminals and Libertines in the South, which focuses on a high profile Southern prostitution ring during the early 1970's. She is also the author and host of Stripcast: True Stories from a Stripper with a PhD.
She was featured on the Epix documentary series SEX LIFE in Season 1, Episode 3: Rope, Tits, and Tears.
At her Substack Tumultuous True Stories, Lindsay shares true stories with no bullshit for those craving honesty in an era of "personal brands."
Thank you for inviting me to do this! This was a great thought exercise. Needed the moment to reflect, honestly. Much respect and thank you again!
Remy, what a great interview of a most unique and interesting individual. She's an original and way beyond an archetype, that's for sure. Back in the day, I spent a lot of time in Atlanta - and on occasion found in one of their storied clubs. I'm glad her husband saved her life and she's emerged as a talented writer with what appear to be fascinating stories.