Side effects may include any previous stage unexpectedly reappearing at random, loss of appetite, existential ennui, night sweats, increased appetite, constipation, nausea, diarrhea, dizziness, fatigue, a lump in your throat that appears whenever you sit down to start again, and extreme anxiety.
Your mileage may vary.
I'm full of unhelpful advice. The one helpful bit I do have is humor and plenty of it.
Having bitten my tongue before, my own adaptation would be drinking To the blood of my enemies. Probably followed by a session of stomping out any worms of guilt.
Ha, thank you Jan. I’m a filmmaker, I get rejected a lot. It’s all about pitching, trying to fund, applying to festivals. It works as well, thankfully, but it’s still a lot for sure.
I was an actor for many years, so rejection is a very familiar beast. The bright side? It helped thicken my skin when I started submitting my writing. Writing rejections can sting too, but at least I'm not getting rejected because of my eyebrows (that really happened once).
Oh, man, I would get rejected repeatedly due to my eyebrows alone and yet, my eyebrows are probably one of my favorite features. I think there's a lesson there about rejection, maybe?
Hmm. I'm single. I have been over over two years after an abusive relationship. (I was the abusee.) I'm not an idiot. I know I'm attractive and I get rejected pretty steadily. Is that the kind of rejection about which you write?
Really good, very well thought out. You got eight characters set up to make a play or movie with. You ask for audience participation, you don't need it. There's more to this little piece than you might think. Very cleverly started. I sense you can go deeper. I see The Halfway House (1944) and Dead of Night (1945) and its coming around again. Shine on.
The person who says no first determines where things stop. This is an irrefutable truth told to me in my 20s. It took me probably 20 plus more years of pain to accept it. This was due to my deep generational history of abusive, codependent, alcoholic relationships. I had no clue what mutually interdependent, healthy non-violent respectful communication and relationships were. I didn't know that trust and relationship-building were processes and that it was the ego that tells me I'm being rejected. In reality, sometimes things don't work out, we don't fit and the first person who notices and says no controls the process. Ouch! It hurts! We grieve.
I do think that our narrative myths gives us a delusion of control as well. We are surrounded by stories and prompts emphasising a 'can do' attitude and the idea that if one wants something hard enough, one will get it. But in truth, it doesn't always work like this. Although admittedly it can be depressing looking at things this way.
i said this recently to another writer here. Getting a rejection means you are one step closer to getting what you want. There is always a yes for you. Sometimes it takes longer to to get to it.
Side effects may include any previous stage unexpectedly reappearing at random, loss of appetite, existential ennui, night sweats, increased appetite, constipation, nausea, diarrhea, dizziness, fatigue, a lump in your throat that appears whenever you sit down to start again, and extreme anxiety.
Your mileage may vary.
I'm full of unhelpful advice. The one helpful bit I do have is humor and plenty of it.
And, oh, yes! Drinking the blood of your enemies.
Cheeers!
Lol I like the last one best
Having bitten my tongue before, my own adaptation would be drinking To the blood of my enemies. Probably followed by a session of stomping out any worms of guilt.
lol
You’re most welcome 🫡
Not to get all treacly, but if someone with as much wit and heart as you display here gets rejected, then it's bearable that I do too.
Ha, thank you Jan. I’m a filmmaker, I get rejected a lot. It’s all about pitching, trying to fund, applying to festivals. It works as well, thankfully, but it’s still a lot for sure.
I was an actor for many years, so rejection is a very familiar beast. The bright side? It helped thicken my skin when I started submitting my writing. Writing rejections can sting too, but at least I'm not getting rejected because of my eyebrows (that really happened once).
Lol wow. “We really love your performance Jan... But the eyebrows... It’s the eyebrows, sorry.”
Epic. I was an actor as well for a while, I don’t think I ever was that miserable than during that time
Understandable!
Oh, man, I would get rejected repeatedly due to my eyebrows alone and yet, my eyebrows are probably one of my favorite features. I think there's a lesson there about rejection, maybe?
Absolutely. The lesson = it's not you. It's the sad fools who reject you :-)
Thanks!
The only part I disagree with is that this is an "unhelpful" guide. I read it three times over! So good.
💙
“Appearance: An email, if lucky.” - I hate this one the most. Sticking around for any wisdom that pops up.
Same :)
I'm an expert on being rejected. I'm not sure if that's the same thing. But, here I am.
Your expertise is needed
Hmm. I'm single. I have been over over two years after an abusive relationship. (I was the abusee.) I'm not an idiot. I know I'm attractive and I get rejected pretty steadily. Is that the kind of rejection about which you write?
I reckon all rejections can feel the same way.
You would be right. You're an artist? Yes?
Yes, my life is pitching or applying to tremendously competitive things in film
Reminds me of the 12 stages of a project:
1 Wild enthusiasm
2 Exaggerated despair
3 Search for a new way of doing it
4 Further despair
5 a If commissioned, return to original form 5 b If not commissioned, repeat 3 & 4
6 Proceed with professional competence
7 Enjoy the process, alternating with
8 Loathing every minute
9 Complete first draft, with indifference
10 Resent the changes demanded
11 Astonishment at reception
12 Repeat 1 & 2
Postrejection I'm glad that I only have to deal with myself.
Yes, don’t hide your vulnerability, it’s what makes a real human being.
Really good, very well thought out. You got eight characters set up to make a play or movie with. You ask for audience participation, you don't need it. There's more to this little piece than you might think. Very cleverly started. I sense you can go deeper. I see The Halfway House (1944) and Dead of Night (1945) and its coming around again. Shine on.
Thanks Phoeagdor!
Love this but denial can be a *long term* coping mechanism too - and a very underrated one if you ask me 😂
I think I might be in denial about being in denial Kirsten. You broke my brain 😉
😂
The person who says no first determines where things stop. This is an irrefutable truth told to me in my 20s. It took me probably 20 plus more years of pain to accept it. This was due to my deep generational history of abusive, codependent, alcoholic relationships. I had no clue what mutually interdependent, healthy non-violent respectful communication and relationships were. I didn't know that trust and relationship-building were processes and that it was the ego that tells me I'm being rejected. In reality, sometimes things don't work out, we don't fit and the first person who notices and says no controls the process. Ouch! It hurts! We grieve.
I do think that our narrative myths gives us a delusion of control as well. We are surrounded by stories and prompts emphasising a 'can do' attitude and the idea that if one wants something hard enough, one will get it. But in truth, it doesn't always work like this. Although admittedly it can be depressing looking at things this way.
This is too true lol I'm so guilty of denial--reading those emails again and again, then eating some cookies.
i said this recently to another writer here. Getting a rejection means you are one step closer to getting what you want. There is always a yes for you. Sometimes it takes longer to to get to it.
True
But a hit list is good as well!
This.
💙
The first seven are also stages of growth and development of an identity able to deal with life.
As you progress through the first seven, your insecurities will become a smaller and smaller part of your "bag".
💙